Noah movie sucks more!

Noah
Release Date: March 28, 2014
Viewing: April 4, 2014
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Main Cast: Russel Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson

Summary & Review

The movie "Noah" is an action based re-imagining of the Biblical story of Noah, his family and his infamous ark to evade a deluge sent by god to destroy the evils of man.
In this re-imagining Noah (Crowe) is the descendant of Seth, the good son of Adam & Eve. He lives in a wasteland apart from the rest of humanity with his family.
The other humans are descendants of the murderous Cain. Cain's kin had teamed up with fallen "watchers" or angels to exploit the land the creator gave them. 

After a vision of the flood Noah traverses the wasteland to seek out his grandfather Methuselah. Methuselah played by Hopkins is an old  hermit sage living on a mountain that opens Noah's eyes to what he must do. He also offers Noah a seed from the Garden of Eden to help him with his mission.
This seed leeds to one of many unreal miracles to occur in this movie. Once planted, this seed sprouts into forest that springs up in the wasteland in just minutes. And yet despite having a forest of trees pop up in a short period, it still takes 10 years for Noah and his "fallen watchers," these giant rock monsters to build his ark. 

As Noah finally completes his ark he faces obstacles from both his family and Cain's descendants. Primarily from his family: his son Shem has trouble conceiving with his adopted sister Ila, (Watson) who had been rescued from death in the wasteland 10 years prior. Meanwhile the other son, Ham has no mate and won't stop bitching about it. When he does find a girl, Noah lets her get trampled to death by a mob-army as the rains begin. 
Just before the deluge Shem's sister/wife is blessed by Methuselah with a child. It's not till the flood is in full force that Noah finds out that Ila is with child. When Noah finds this out he goes ballistic! He pledges to kill the child if it's born a girl as he believes his mission is to help destroy humanity. 
While at sea we also find that the leader of Man, Cain's descendant Tubal, has stowed away aboard the ark and Ham is nursing him back to health. Ham is also taken under Tubal's wing out of anger towards his father regarding the death of his woman. Together they conspire against Noah.
Somehow in less then 40 days Illa comes to full term and gives birth aboard the ark. As she gives birth Noah Struggles with Shem, Ham & Tubal. Ham is helping Tubal, while Shem defends his newborn twins. 
The movie ends as the original story does: a dove finds land and they make a new colony there while Noah gets drunk dealing with his attempted post term abortion of his grandchildren. 

View
As you can see I am no fan of this movie. I was very skeptical of it being a worthy movie going in, and now i am wondering why  i wasted my money on it. 
I never really read the biblical version of Noah and his Ark, but from what I know i don't recall any "watchers" or rock monsters helping him. I also don't recall any grandfather sage to help him. Just God. Could Cain's descendants really have been soo industrious to have wasted all resources of the world in just 10 generations? I doubt it! They really used up all the trees and water? and the Creator has the ability to make all the trees and water return in an instance, only to be exploited by Noah in 10 years to build his Ark? 
I also could have sworn both of Noah's sons had a wife and children. Perhaps one of these kids born aboard the Ark. But here we are led to believe a "barren" woman is blessed with a pregnancy and child in just a few months? Worse! We are told that all of humanity since then comes from her twin daughters mating with their uncles?

Bottomline
DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE! It's Stupid and a waste! I hope Bible-thumpers and Creationists don't latch to tightly onto this film. If they do, I hope they see it as an adequate counterbalance to Neil Degrasse Tyson's "the Cosmos."

Jack Reacher (Movie)

Jack Reacher

Tom Cruise, Rosmund Pike, Richard Jenkins, David Oyelow, Werner Herzog, Robert Duvall

"Jack Reacher" (a Tom Cruise movie) was not my first choice tonight let alone on my personal list of choices. But I was with a small group of people and it was either 3 hr Django Unchained/The Hobbit, some dumb movie about a tidal wave, The Life of Pi, This is 40, or Homeland. The consensus went with Tom Cruise murder mystery action flick.
Interesting genre to do this time Tom: murder-mystery-action. Interesting and twisted movie to. It starts off with a pretty controversial opener for the times: man uses unmarked sprinter to drive & park in a parking barrage so he can sniper kill "random" people across the river. This movie came out a week or two after the Sandy Hook elementary school massacre & shortly before Christmas. Good job movie studio! But I guess there's only soo many times a movie can have its release date postponed (i think the orig release date was shortly after the "joker" massacred the theater) esp when someone like Cruise is the star.
Enough ranting, back to the movie review: it was actually pretty good and intense. It kept you guessing about the who-dun-it right till the end... Even then I thought there was gonna be another twist with the defense attorney... Plenty of action for what REALLY was a story driven movie. I'd Some of the action gratuitous but worth it and at times humorous. There's even an excellent police crown vic cruisers vs classic Chevy muscle car vs Audi A series car chase about 3/4s of the way through.
Sadly there's almost nothing (for a guy) sexy about this film. The defense attorney is an attractive blonde, and there's a cute young thing that teases him halfway thru. But the closet thing to sex or sexy is Tom showing the attorney how ripped he is for a near 50 year old and they both blow each other off.
If you've lost your love for Tom Cruise after the whole Katie Holmes fiasco like I have, I'd say this is a better choice then Rock of Ages to learn to enjoy him again.

Liberty Diner - Linden, NJ

so i already bitched about this in a comment on my places on facebook, but i think this should be put out there more publicly so everyone can know so i'll just copy & paste it here

I just wanted to say this is the shittiest diner. My waitress was a dumb twat. I asked for a pork roll n cheese w/ home fries. She comes back with the menu and asks me if I want something that doesn't seem to come with the order. She later returns with my order plus 2 big sausages and 4 strips of bacon. I was like wtf is this? And give a hard time: "I ordered a pork roll egg & cheese plus home fries!" then there's no ketchup or salt in my vicinity at the counter so I ask for it. She brings me an old style Heinz bottle (not a prob) with labels from 20+ years ago! I was afraid I'd get poisoned by ketchup. I get that you can refill bottles, but you obviously never washed this one or else this label wouldn't be there!!!

D Reviews

so i hav always wanted to do a big old website where i could do various reviews of different areas of entertainment. areas as diverse as" movies, music, and tv. but i think i have recently come to terms that a website may be too far beyond my means. so i have decided to do a blog series instead.